If you’ve got a disability, like me, you’ve probably found dating to be tricky. It’s hard to figure out who is genuinely interested in you. Or who is going to be comfortable with the restrictions you might have. It’s hard to avoid judgments.
At least I know I had many issues with the dating world. I’ve had anxieties about asking a woman out many times. I didn’t know how they would react to my disability. I was also a little afraid of the rejection. So, I switched to online dating.
Online dating itself can be pretty tricky. There are issues like fake website or fake profiles. Sometimes who you think you’re talking to isn’t who you’re talking to at all. But, there are ways to sort the real people from the fake people. There are ways to find the right websites to devote your time to as well. I write tips and tricks to surviving online dating. I like to tell others what to look for in a dating website and how to keep themselves safe. I know it’s hard, but I want to try and make it a little more simple.
When I first started dating online, I didn’t know how to tell if someone was real or not. I knew not to give out my bank account information, but I didn’t know much else. I didn’t know you’re not supposed to tell somewhere where you work, that’s for sure. It never led to anything for me, but I have heard horror stories. You have to be careful what information you’re giving out, but I learned that with time. I don’t want to see other people make the same mistakes I made when I got started.
Another rookie mistake I made was disclosing my disability. I’d fill out my profiles and I’d message beautiful women. I never thought about when I was going to tell them. After meeting them in person, my disability would come up. I had a few women accuse me of lying to them, others just stopped correspondence. So, I decided to put my disability right in my profile. I noticed less people were contacting me, or responding to my out bound messages. I also noticed that those who were replying seemed more genuinely interested. They asked questions and wanted to get a better understanding of the limitations I faced. It was actually refreshing. Yes, it still hurt to get replies from women saying they wouldn’t date someone who was disabled. But I figure those aren’t the kind of women I’d want to date in the first place.
I could have been turned off dating by the first few negative experiences. Instead, I just adjusted my method of self-advertising. It seemed to work. I’ve met a lot of really great people who are accepting of my disability. I haven’t found the right women quite yet, but I know she’s out there somewhere. I know that she won’t find me if I’m not out there.
I also know there’s a special someone out there for you too. That’s why I share these pieces of myself. My mistakes and my triumphs. Experience is much more valuable when you’re using it to help others.